


Give It All To You

by Tinderboxgays (emsypi)



Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, alfred my poor bby, drummond didn’t die, post s2e8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 11:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12506416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emsypi/pseuds/Tinderboxgays
Summary: Alfred is upset when he remembers everything they can never have. Edward reassures him that all they’ll ever need is each other.Set post episode 8, in a universe where Drummond didn’t die. This is really just some self indulgent hurt/comfort lol





	Give It All To You

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song “Give it all” by Ed Prosek. 
> 
> Thank you so much to the lovely @adamwhatareyouevendoing for being my beta! The cuddling scene wouldn’t have been the same without you <3
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Edward Drummond hurried along the lamp-lit street, towards the now familiar townhouse belonging to Alfred Paget. It was past 11 o’clock, and the streets were silent save for his echoing footsteps. He gently rapped once on the door, and his heart thumped against his rib cage as he waited for it to open. No matter how many times he had visited Alfred at night, waiting here still made him nervous. What if someone saw? What if someone discovered their secret?

Before he could continue fretting however, the door swung open, and his heart skipped a beat. It was Alfred thankfully, and he mumbled a soft “hello”, before bustling inside. The moment the door closed behind them, Drummond pulled Alfred into a tight embrace, burying his face into his neck and breathing in the familiar scent of whisky and cigar smoke.

“Oh, Edward,” Alfred sighed, tightening his grip around his lover’s shoulders. Work at Parliament had been incredibly busy since the repeal had passed, and Drummond had not been able to get away from work until very late at night, meaning that there had been little time for them to spend together.

Before Drummond could say a word, Alfred was gently tugging him up the stairs, being careful to avoid any creaking floorboards so as not to wake the maids.

Once they were safely inside Alfred’s room, they toed off their shoes, and Drummond laid his jacket on the leather armchair in the corner. They slipped beneath the blankets on the bed, sitting up against the cushions at the headboard. Alfred laid his head on Drummond’s shoulder and hugged his waist, whilst Drummond’s arms circled Alfred’s body, hugging him close and nosing his soft, golden hair. They remained liked this for a while, simply breathing and enjoying the warmth and comfort of their embrace.

After a short while, Drummond heard a small sniff and a breathy exhale from the man next to him. He felt the gentle shivering of Alfred’s shoulders, and shifted in order to see his face.

“Alfred, darling, whatever’s the matter? Why are you crying?” Alfred was trembling now, choking sobs being drawn from him. Drummond pulled him back into his arms, cradling his head and placing a soft kiss to his hair. He gently rocked Alfred for a few minutes, until his tears subsided and his shaking had ceased. Only then did he pull away, tilting his love’s chin up so that he could look into his watery blue eyes, filled with an unnameable anguish. The moon shone through the curtains onto Alfred’s tear-streaked cheeks, and he gazed into Drummond’s chestnut eyes, full of adoration and an offer of comfort.

“Do you wish it were different?” Alfred whispered, in such a timid voice that Drummond’s heart nearly broke. Drummond was about to reply but Alfred continued. “If I were a- a woman, we would be married by now. We would have a- have a house, and—” his voice cracked, and his eyes once again filled with tears, “—and children, Edward. We could have a family, and you would come home after work and see the children, and we’d have dinner together, and at night we could fall asleep in each other’s arms without having to worry about the maids hearing, or you losing your job, or being discovered. We could love each other Edward, and we could tell the world about it, only I’m a man and so are you, and life just isn’t- isn’t fair.” His body was racked with sobs, and now Edward was crying too.

“Oh, my darling. My wonderful, beautiful darling.” He pulled Alfred towards him, and they clung to each other for dear life, trying to get as close as possible. It was as though they had become one—one mind, one body, one soul. “We cannot change anything, and even if we could, I wouldn’t want to. You are the man that I love, and you are all I will ever need or want in this world. There is no use pining for things that cannot be. It simply is what it is, and that is how it will always be. Maybe in another life, we could have these things… but it is not worth thinking about. I am so thankful that we have this. That I have you by my side.”

“As am I.” Alfred avoided Edward’s eyes, his fingers twisting in his lap. “I’m sorry about this. It’s just me being ridiculous, I know…”

“No. Don’t ever think that.” Edward softly cupped Alfred’s cheek, brushing away the tears that continued to fall. He whispered, “I wish for those things as much as you do. However, it is not something worth making ourselves miserable over.” Still Alfred refused to meet his eyes. “Please look at me my love.” Alfred slowly looked at him, and his pained expression broke Edward in two. He brought his other hand up to cup Alfred’s cheek. “I love you,” he murmured, “and I always will. I don’t care that we can’t have children, or be married. I want to be by your side until I’m old and grey, and if I have to give up my career and cut ties from my family for that, then so be it.”

“I love you too,” Alfred breathed, bringing his hands up to the nape of Edward’s neck, and gently pulling him forward so their foreheads touched. “More than you will ever know. I am truly sorry about my behaviour tonight- I know all these things are as upsetting for you as they are for me. It’s only- I wish we could leave this place. Leave everything behind, and go and live somewhere, just you and I, alone. We could have a little cottage, with a garden, and you could teach me to cook, and in the evenings we could read together by the fire…” Alfred had a wistful, far-away look, and he shook his head and laughed to himself. “It’s just a silly daydream.”

“I don’t agree.” Edward had a defiant look in his eyes. “We can have this.” He took hold of both of Alfred’s hands, gently stroking them with his thumbs, and gazed lovingly into his eyes. “Come away with me. It doesn’t matter where, as long as I’m with you. Let’s leave as soon as possible. This week. Tomorrow night.”

“Where will we go?” Alfred asked hesitantly. “Scotland?” Edward’s face lit up with a luminous smile.

“Scotland.” With that, he leant forward, gently pressing his lips to Alfred’s, in a kiss that was as sweet and soft as the first they had shared on that midsummer evening all those weeks ago. As the kiss deepened, something within their hearts seemed to finally settle down peacefully. The affection, love and adoration that they shared was felt by both of them, as they dreamed of the life together awaiting them in Scotland. They would finally be home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know if you enjoyed it by leaving kudos or a comment. Please check out the works by my beta @adamwhatareyouevendoing which this was heavily inspired by. Also drop by my tumblr, @tinderboxgays ^_^


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